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A message from a prospective mate every day may sound like a lot.
But given the extremely low probability that any given message will lead to a serious relationship, it’s not.
It made me feel that I was more likely to find someone with whom I actually connected—not just another pretty face.
I uploaded pictures and filled out my profile with basic demographic information—height, body type, religion, and education.
You may also start talking to someone only to realize that you are no longer interested in getting to know them better.
It can take many exchanges to get to a real live date.
I liked the concept of Ok Cupid’s “match percentages.” The site projects the compatibility of its users, assessing it on a scale from 1 to 100.
That first night, after crafting what I thought was a suitably witty, cool, and interesting profile, I let the site’s algorithms work their magic.The most mathematically promising one—at 99.5 percent—turned out to be one of my existing friends from law school.But almost immediately, I began to notice peculiarities about my experience.Among my single friends, and even in the conversations I overheard between strangers in coffee shops, women using dating sites described being “overwhelmed” and “flooded” with communication.
On the day I completed my profile, I received one message; four more appeared over the next two days.
I was searching for a committed relationship with a supportive partner, someone I could love deeply and who shared my values and goals.