Buddhism dating and marriage
To think that we need to sort our romantic life into one category of our being and our spiritual growth into another would be a mistake.
It is through applying basic Buddhist principles that we can use relationships with others as part of our path.
I was watching a television program the other day where an old married couple was fighting. Often we take our partner for granted when we should be seeing them as a principle object of our compassion.
In an attempt to ameliorate the situation, the husband brought his wife a cosmopolitan, saying he knows how much she loves them. The Tibetan word for compassion is , which can be more directly translated as “noble heart.” This is a helpful term when thinking about bringing compassion into our most intimate relationships: we need to fully offer those closest to us our noble heart. I believe many long-term couples continue to be excited by their partner, but they don’t follow up by inquiring just how their partner has changed. We have an understanding that everything shifts and is in transition around us.
Somewhere in the midst of a relationship, certain expectations are set up.
You don’t draft a contract or divvy up who does what, but at the same time you begin to believe that your partner owes you certain things.
It is the truth, though, that although we think the same dependable person we dine with every night is one solid thing, they are in fact a conglomeration of experiences and wisdom that is constantly shifting, not unlike the seasons themselves.
To solidify such a person is nonsense, yet we are all guilty of falling into that trap at one point or another.
We begin to close off our heart and fend for ourselves instead of being available to hear our partner out.
We have no trouble seeing our own bodies and library of knowledge develop and change.