Dating relationship tips dealing with rejection
No one has ever succeeded in love or in life without first facing rejection.
We all experience it, and yet, those times when we do are often the times we feel the most alone, outcast, and unwanted.
I’m talking about the common human tendency of over-personalizing negative outcomes.
Going back to the earlier example, it’s important that you recognize that any rejection, in general, is largely unrelated to whether you are good enough for something (or someone) or not.
Again, I’m not here to tell you that you can avoid feeling hurt by feeding yourself some distorted version of reality.
I’d only like to draw your attention to the fact that often, you interpret a situation as a rejection when it’s actually not.
In fact, so much of the hurt and struggle we endure isn’t even based on the loss itself but on what we tell ourselves about the experience, the cruel ways we put ourselves down or flood ourselves with hopeless thoughts about the future.
Studies even show that our reaction to rejection is also based on elements and events from our past, like our attachment history.
Rejection is an almost unavoidable aspect of being human.
Remember, loving your partner and being unable to function without their emotional support are not the same thing at all. In fact once you’ve been able to overcome your emotional “needy-ness”, your relationship will improve greatly as your partner finds fresh reasons to fall back in love with the new you.
Next time you face rejection (and trust me, there will be a next time, ‘cause that’s how life is) try to apply these techniques and you’ll find you’ll be way better off in handling it– channeling it constructively even– if you can do it right.
Therefore, it mentally prepares you for the negative outcome.
Secondly, it also looks at the negative outcome in a way which is as objective as possible, thereby minimizing the feelings of personalization associated with the negative outcome.
However, even if you’re being highly objective, it’s just that she might need something different from what you’ve got to offer.