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Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor Last week, I discussed why women can't find a "good" man (here).In that article, I explained my hypothesis that women are stuck in a double-bind between what they are told through modern social norms and their own biological motivation.When punishments weight more heavily, people avoid those same behaviors.Essentially, many men report that they find modern dating a primarily punishing affair.Men often define these women along evolutionary psychology lines—women who are sexually-selective, faithful, physically attractive, and have a pleasant, respectful disposition (for more on these qualities, see Buss, 2003 and my own articles here and here).Unfortunately, these qualities are again part of women's double bind, with social norms sometimes guiding them away from these biologically feminine characteristics.If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected.
Therefore, the relationship needs of the men using this strategy may be less fulfilled in the long run.2) Partnering Carefully - another strategy adopted by some men is to adhere to social norms and become a "good guy" or even "domestic partner". However, men who follow this strategy should pick their partner carefully.
Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.