Moms dads dating
(One of those differences is that no one ever uses the term “mommy-son date.”) It seems like mother-son time together revolves around hanging out, while people often feel the need to structure father-daughter time around the format and iconography of actual dating. HOWEVER, daddy-daughter dates DO often ape their structure from the kinds of dates that boys and girls might go on in high school, like a Homecoming date, or a fancy-dress night on the town with one’s spouse.
Now, let me cut you off here, I am NOT saying that there is anything ROMANTIC about father-daughter dates. And mother-son “dates” don’t generally use the same structure. This leads into category #2 in defense of father-daughter dates—“I take her on dates to show her how she should be treated by the men in her life.” Again, I am not here to argue whether that is a valid or invalid point, but I will note that I can’t think of any time when those roles are traditionally flipped and mothers do something similar with their sons. Dad-daughter date advocates often say things like “I open doors, I tell her she’s special, I bring flowers” to demonstrate how they’re using the date structure to show their daughters how they should expect to be treated by other men. Do the moms need to let their sons open doors or pay for the meal? ) There’s this thing in our society where it’s socially acceptable for fathers to be held up as the “ideal men” for their daughters, but mothers aren’t supposed to be the “perfect women” for their sons.
People feel like I’m arguing semantics, people feel like I’m making something sound romantic that was never supposed to be, people feel like I’m criticizing fathers for wanted to spend time with their daughters, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Dads spending time with their daughters is a vitally important act—hanging out with my daughter is literally my favorite thing in the whole wide world.
In fact, they have whole “daddy-daughter dances” that are structured in the exact same format as high school dances.
And, maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never encountered moms and sons “spending time together” in the same way.
Can you think of a time when a mom takes her son out, they get dressed up, and she’s trying to show her son how his future girlfriends should treat him later in life? And it IS a romantic date structure because men don’t usually bring flowers or go dancing when they’re trying to express their respect for their aunts, female work friends, or sisters. placed in the same situations, what are moms supposed to do with their sons? Are the moms supposed to listen intently, laugh at his jokes, and tell him that’s he’s handsome? If a boy ends up with a woman who’s “just like his mother,” that’s generally perceived to be a bad or a weak thing. If we have fathers taking their daughters on admittedly innocent “dates” to teach them about how men should respect them, should mothers be doing the exact same thing?
Should mothers be using dates with their sons to prepare them for their future relationships?
Can anyone show me ANY example of an institution where sons pledge their “purity” to their mothers?If it exists, I’d love to see it.) Ultimately, there are many, many ways to impart respect and love to your children.