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You get involved, you fall in love, you throw caution to the wind, you scream "YOLO" in the face of a potentially incongruous match, you wind up spending a few too many months (or years) with someone who is not ultimately the right match. Don't get me wrong: I don't regret any of my relationships, and I am so grateful for all of the things I've learned via people I've dated.When I was younger, it was easier for me to get involved with someone simply by virtue of his jawline or cultural cache or general bad-boy nature. These days, I'm healthier, which translates to valuing different things — namely, happiness and compatibility and mutual understanding and appreciation, aka a good relationship.If you're not happy, anything can become a problem. Like a monster under the bed, it disappears when you shed some light on the situation.Maybe you go along with them to their favorite band even though you hate the music, or you accompany them to a gallery even though you'd rather be doing something else, but you do it grudgingly. If you're with the right person, you'll want to do what they want to do, even if it's not your cup of tea, because you want to support them. So for the love of all that is holy, turn on the light.One question I get asked fairly often—and it’s usually from married couples hoping to instill good values in their children—is “What’s the right way to date?” They’re wanting to give their children solid biblical advice about dating.Maybe you're scared this is the best you can do, so you might as well hang in there. Maybe they want to meet your friends for brunch wearing a weird t-shirt. What matters to you is that they want to meet your friends for brunch, and that you get to spend the afternoon together — not what they wear or how they wear it.
Rather than honoring God with their bodies, they see sex as inconsequential. God gave us intimacy because it’s part of the process by which we become one with another person. When you have a sexual relationship with someone, it creates a powerful, intimate bond. That’s why sex can be so damaging before (and outside of) marriage.
It is the opposite of recreational dating, which is dating for fun or for sexual purposes.