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One of the first times Foltz took the initiative and asked a guy out, it went really well. “It ended up being one of the most romantic experiences of my life.” She believes making the first move gave the man a helpful confidence boost.“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.“There are definitely guys who would be really into a woman taking charge like that,” says Manley.The 1996 comedy “Swingers” popularized the idea that cool kids must wait three days to call a date after an encounter. Technology and new ideas about sex and gender have dramatically changed the laws of love, from who pays for dinner to how long to wait to call after a date.
“I don’t want to be with someone who’s going to play games and feel weird if I text them to say hello,” Donahue says.Foltz, 29, says it can be tricky, but that gender norms are still at play.“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.“If you think you know the rules, some new app will come along and reinvent the rule book.” Here’s how to play the game now.
Apps such as Tinder have spoiled us for choice and made it OK to be dating multiple people at once.“[But] they’re not a great way to go deep or get to know the person’s personality.” Chris Donahue, a 28-year-old writer from Brooklyn, believes men should still foot the bill, at least on the first date.